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The Cold (Day Eight)

Dec 17th, 2009 | By Ben Peek | Category: Uncategorized
The Cold

(Day Eight)

That took an hour.

You’re the best, baby.

I shovelled snow, for an hour.

Like I said, baby, you’re the best.

If you call me baby one more time, I’ll break your other leg.

Then you’d just have to push me in a wheelchair.

I think you slipped on that ice purposefully.

It was well timed for the snow shovelling season, but no. I was just distracted.

God, my muscles ache in places they shouldn’t.

Come here.

What?

No.

I’m not letting you touch me. You and your, your–

Are you naked?

Take the parka off.

…

…

Let me get this right.

Let me see if I understand this.

While I was out shovelling snow, you were getting naked?

It did take me the entire hour, yes.

Because you thought that I’d come in thinking, ‘After an hour shovelling, she’ll be in the mood.’

What’s sexier than a naked man with a cast on his leg?

I’m not in the mood.

You sure?

Pretty fucking sure.

Cause it takes a long time to take pants on an off, so if you get in the mood in the next two days, I’m going to be busy.

You know what’s sexy?

Men who shovel snow.

Goddamn, you bitched up out there, didn’t you?

I have pains in muscles I can’t name. Do you know how difficult that is to do when you’re a nurse?

Would you like me to put the kettle on?

Yes!

…

…

…

Okay, so, yeah–

Yeah?

Yeah, a naked man with a cast on his leg making me coffee is kind of a turn on.

I knew my wily charm would get to you.

Don’t flatter yourself. If there wasn’t a kettle involved–lets just say that your charm isn’t enough.

Central heating doesn’t help?

It does, but you need all this stuff to help you.

See, you’re all wrong.

You think I need this stuff to help me, but really, it’s just all the romance. Its like, ice cream, but with that sauce that hardens on it. Like that.

Do we have any of that?

The sauce?

Yeah, some, I think.

Good.

Oh, no, don’t look at me like that. Your vague insults have resulted in a loss of mood. You’re going to have to look after yourself now. This naked man and his cast demand better treatment.

What if I took my parka off?

What if you did?

Well, what does it make you think?

That you’re leaving water on the floor and you’re going to have to clean it up.

I could drop my shirt there. It’d mop it right up.

Is that right?

That’s right.

…

…

…

How’s the kettle coming?

It’s getting there.

(The 12 Days of Christmas enters its fifth day. Social and political commentary must return! Also, midgets.)

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